Monday, March 16, 2009

Wow...It Just Can't Be

Today I got out early...early enough to avoid the torrential downpour that hit just as I was walking back into the house. I mean it just was pelting. I took all my rain gear in anticipation of what had been the pattern over the last few days...strong rain and strong wind. But nothing could have prepared me for the storm that was coming...nothing.

It really struck me as I was walking out the door...I'm getting older...it just can't be true...but it is. I was listening to The Frames, my new most favorite music. We got to see them when we were in Ireland and I was just blown away. They're kinda rock folk alt pop emo all rolled into one really neat package. Glen Hansard the lead singer and main writer is the guy who won the Oscar a couple years back for the movie soundtrack from "Once" (you should check it out...it's fantastic).

So I'm listening to The Frames and thinking how hip and cool I was, when it dawns on me...I'm 53 years old. That is the age my dad was when I was 18. I remember how old he seemed when I was 18. He only listened to country music and he had a buzzed haircut. He hated my music...thought it came from some jungle somewhere...and we should take it back to them. He loved Hank Williams (Sr. of course) and Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard...what an idiot. Who would like that crap (uhhh me now).

He would hang out in his garage all day long smoking and listening to that music so loud everyone in the house was disturbed. He kinda had the attitude..."I'm in my shop...F*%@ YOU". He would flip his cigarette butts all over the yard and then make me pick them up. Later he got a TV for his shop and so he'd watch it while he was out there...with the music blaring as well of course.

Needless to say...I didn't like my dad too much back then. Thought he was a recluse and kind of aloof from the rest of us. He even ate his dinner in there some times. Mostly though, he ate his diner in the living room in front of the TV while the rest of us savages scavenged for the remaining bits of mashed potatoes covered in creamed tuna...and canned peas...yuk!

It really makes me mad when I look in the mirror...I see old CW Wertz (I won't dishonor him by using his real name...he hated it...it was Cla*%#^ce). I definitly have his ears...big old floppy things...great for picking up signals from space. I kinda look like him. I kinda act like him. My worst nightmare is sadly comig true...I am my father...it just can't be true.
(Bill and Harriet Wertz)

As much as I try to deny it, I have taken on some of the characteristics of my father. I love music and I play it loud. If you walk into my shop and disturb me while I'm listening to music, I might snap at you (unless you have coffee or wine in your hands). I am very beligerant about my music. I know what constitutes good music...the rest of that stuff needs to go back to whatever jungle you found that in...get it out of my face. I still love to eat my dinner in front of the TV...now I don't do it much anymore...but it is a real treat for me when I can. I really, when left to my own devices, can be such a turd...just like my old man. God rest his soul.

Thankfully, I had another Father as well...I do hope I resemble Him too.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did I ever mention that I'm so glad we met you guys? Real. Down to earth. You have history. You have junk. You have flaws. But you also have my admiration and respect for the man you are today. Miss you guys lots. We should get together if your schedule allows. Do you have space in a small group perhaps?

Blessings,

TM

Tracey said...

on another blog you will need to share the great things you got from your old man...like the ability to make something out of nothing! You are not getting old because if you are then so am I! we are just getting better like a fine wine!!!!
I love you and your floppy ears! Glad you are walking and writing again

Anonymous said...

I am very guilty of aquiring all of the things from my mom that drove me sometimes to believe she didn't even love me. But instead of hating her for it, it better abled me to forgive her for them and bless our relationship to this day! I hope my daugter will allow me the same grace someday.
keep walking, some of us really need the mirror you hold up to us through your words! Michelle Elliott